Reading Material Should Not Be Upholstered

I am posting mostly because I am tired of looking at ye olde scooter at the top of bucketsamoonbeams.

Wanna know what else I'm tired of?

• Paisleys,
  
• fleur-de-lees,
  
• doilies,
  
• rosies,
  
• posies,
  
• frenchy patterns,
  
• polka dots,
  
• ruffles,
  
• fancy stripes,
  
• curls,
  
• swirls,
  
• twirls,
  
• damasks, and
  
• paramecia.

The nature of fashion-ish trends in T-shirts and blogs is that once everybody has them, they won't be cool anymore and'll go outta style. So I guess Hilary and I who don't got no trendy blog wallpaper--designed by some woman in Utah Valley who couldn't make it into the cutthroat scrapbook industry but had too much creativity and graphic design talent to not design blog backgrounds--are the only holdouts. So the twirly swirly blinding blogs will live on.

I'm alright with it if you call me a hater. It's not that I'm a minimalist. It's not that I'm Mr. spartan anti-aesthetics. It's that I'm anti-trendytacky and anti-headaches. Reading material should not be upholstered.

So if you always wondered why Hilary's blog is so ugly, it's because of Andy.

(To be honest, most of me (probably the retired amateur folklorist) loves the interior design touches that so many awesome women I know do to their awesome blogs that celebrate and share the joys of their life and family. I just wanted to see if I still had the skills to rant about something.)

I do predict that the damask and doily blog craze reaches its apex soon.

Love, Andy

If There's One Thing I've Learned in Life . . .

it is to never buy a Chinese scooter.



We've been trying to sell this for six months now and I've got one thing to say to the guy who just bought this from us three days ago.

"Sucka."

Do They Come Any Cuter Than This? Seriously.

Most pregnant women worry a lot. They worry about their body; they worry about their baby's' body. You know, everything from their baby missing an arm to missing a kidney. A baby in my church couldn't swallow well. Ever since I heard about that little girl, I started worrying about that too. However, one of my biggest fears before having Norah was whether or not she would be cute. Silly, I know, considering all the possible negative outcomes, but no one wants to be ugly, right? Everyone always told me, "Don't worry. Whether she's cute or not, to you she'll be the most beautiful baby in the world."

Am I blinded by love?

"When he (John Adams) is wounded, I bleed." --Abigail Adams

Now isn't that true love?

More examples of true love:

1. After bitching (is that a curse word when I use it in that context?) about her husband and how much they fight, a friend of a classmate of Andy's then flashed her heart-shaped tattoo on the back of her hand. "It's to remind me to be nice to my husband," she said. Fifty bucks says that relationship doesn't last another year.

2. Divorce court case: a man wants to divorce his wife because she didn't fulfill her side of the contract. What contract, you ask? Well, while strolling through a mall, they passed a jewelry store and saw a piece she wanted. "If you buy me that," she says, "I'll sex you up for a whole month." At the time he said, "Let's do this." Explaining all this to the judge, he then whines, "She still owe me 28 days!"

3. "If you can't handle my love, you shouldn't have married me. 'Cause I got infinity love to give." --Andy Jorgensen

Pictures of the Two Loves of My Life







Happy Valentine's Day!

Word of the Day: Trendelenburg

Norah had her first doctor's appointment yesterday. Didn't go exactly as I had imagined. I had no idea she was gonna be pricked in the heel a trillion times and have her heels squeezed dry of every ounce of blood. The whole process took nearly 30 minutes. Norah was screaming bloody murder. Mix compassion and anxiety together and you get a tear-streaked, sweat-drenched mama. Really, when I left that office beads of sweat were dripping from my forehead. All this emotional focus on my baby girl didn't stop me from wanting to punch the nurse in the face. Seriously, who draws blood from the heel of a screaming baby lying in the trendelenburg position? (Just a little phrase I picked up in dental hygiene school.)

Anywayz. With Norah lying on my chest not a half hour later, a smile swept across her face, yet I was still fuming. It was then that I yet again realized why we are supposed to be childlike. She's teaching me so much.

On to a less serious topic. She's in the 95th percentile in height and 75-90th percentile in weight. Somebody get this girl a basketball.

I Almost Don't Want Her to Grow Up

Okay. So I have nothing witty to say; no funny story. I just can't get enough of this girl so I assume everyone else feels the same about her. Besides, she and I are stuck in the house for another couple weeks, so this is the closest I get to come to showing her off.

Thanks to Grandma Mert for making the Happy Birthday sign as a Christmas gift a couple years ago. We never forget to hang it--not even while in the hospital.

And a special shout out to Hailey for making me the yummiest (and prettiest) birthday dessert EVER.

Ode to Grandma

My mom just left today. I dropped her off at the airport a few hours ago. I cried. She didn't. Guess she was tired of changing diapers, doing laundry, making dinner, relieving me at 5:30 am so I could get some sleep, and a million other things. Not to mention the mommy expertise pumping through her veins that was gained from raising ten kids of her own. Fortunately I was able to tap into that expertise time and time again these past few days. Not quite sure if I'll make it on my own without that lifeline.

May you all be fortunate enough to have a mom like mine.

Thanks, Mom, for everything. We love you!

Ok, We're obsessed. I am so enamored that I feel proud, like thrilled proud, when she makes a big poo. Here are some more pictures.

She sleeps alot. She's a growing girl.

Pictures of Norah

Norah & Hilary

Norah is born!

Norah Jorgensen was born Jan 19, 2010 at 3:43 am. Her mom jinxed herself by saying, what if we have to share a birthday? She didn't know that Norah was listening and wants to be just like her mom, so as soon as it struck 12:01 am on Jan 19, Norah was on her way.

Labor went fast and Norah is beautiful. Daddy's proud, and already bragging her up. I texted about 10 people that she weighed 14 pounds. She's doing well so far, but not that enormous yet.

pictures to come shortly. (technical difficulties)

Andy May or May Not Get Some

"Got a chocolate craving, huh?" asked the Walgreens cashier.

Should he just assume those two huge bags of peanut M&Ms are for me? Yes, I am eight and a half months pregnant. And yes, they were the only items in my shopping cart. But c'mon, two and two do not always equal four. Got it, Mr. Cashier Buddy?

In my defense, they were 50% off, okay?