Wednesday, May 27, 2009

This is Hilary Jorgensen reporting live. Moscow, Idaho.

I was walking down the street one evening in downtown Moscow when I passed this homely looking man sitting outside a coffee shop. I smiled, said hi and kept walking when a second later I hear, "Ya wanna hear a compliment?" I'm always up for ego-boosts so I turned around and said, "Um . . . sure."

"You should be on CNN," he said, and I was like, "Uh, thanks?" "Yeah. There's this girl on there right now," he says. "Her name's . . . uh . . . uh . . . well, I can't remember her name. Anyway, it's just not working out."

I tried, just now, to find a picture of an ugly CNN news anchor to post, but it appears they're all pretty, so I guess it really WAS a compliment.

I thought the convo was over (I try to use that word as much as possible cuz I totally know Andy thinks using that word makes one sound like they're totally like, in high school) but he asked what I did for a living. I said dental hygiene and he said he didn't have any teeth and I said, "I know."

"Wanna know how I lost 'em?" So I said, "Drugs?" and he said, "Yep. And now I'm trying to get people not to do them." He then pulled out this picture that he had taken with his camera of this blue piece of paper with his own rotten, extracted teeth glued on to the paper spelling the word METH. Some of those teeth were 20 years old. Who keeps extracted teeth for 20 years? I gotta say, it was quite disturbing, yet very persuasive. He tried to sell it to me thinking he could make some money off it but then Andy called and I told him I had to go meet my husband so I left.

Moral of the story: Don't do drugs because if you do drugs, then maybe someday, somewhere, someone will post about you on their blog making you sound ridiculous (except for the CNN news anchor part--that was totally not ridiculous).

And I'm posting this picture not because it has anything to do with the story, but because a blog post isn't a blog post unless it has a picture. This is Andy and me at a Mariner's game shortly after a 20-ish year-old kid successfully dashed across the entire field, outrunning all the security guys (one totally wiping out at 2nd base) and would have gotten away had a spectator not clotheslined him as he was running up the stairs about 20 feet from where we're standing in this photo. That was by far the most exciting part of the game (in fact, it was the only time we stood up to cheer) since the score was 1-0 and the Mariner's scored that one run in the first inning.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Move over, Barefoot Contessa!

I have a sophisticated palate. Sure, I'll eat an occasional Subway sandwich or store bought piece of cake, but my taste buds know what they like, and let me tell you, they are not easily impressed. In fact, I think unimpressability is body-wide for me, not just restricted to my taste buds. I once confessed my feelings for Andy by admitting that I was not easily impressed, but that he constantly surpassed my expectations. He ain't no average Joe, ya know; and neither is the food that goes in my mouth (if you know what I mean).

Andy, too, knows I love to critique which is why he got me a subscription to bon appetit magazine for my birthday. I wonder if he regrets buying this for me, because due to its pretentious nature, it's been some added fuel (calories, if you will) to my attempts at being a food snob.

Whenever I talk about restaurants or food to my co-workers here in Moscow (the town with 4.7 restaurants) I gracefully climb upon my high horse and talk down to them
as if they should wish to be me. However, a few days ago while in my own kitchen I found myself falling fast from that same horse as I charred nearly everything I touched--bacon, kaiser rolls, an artichoke, and a large pot and lid. Literally, the base of the pot warped from melting on the stove. Who does that? And tell me, how does the side of a Bosch mixer 4 inches away from said pot also melt?

What you may not understand, is that not every great chef is born with wearing an apron. Take Julia Child for example. I'm sure she melted a little metal in her early day, yet she could definitely hold her own in the kitchen. So I could have molten some arrow tips from a Costco pot. Big deal--it doesn't mean I don't have potential. All I'm saying is don't be surprised if you someday see me on Food Network bumping out Emeril for the primetime spot.

As for now, bring it, Julia.