As Per Request

Weepy Pee Pee

Question. My eyes water when I use the bathroom. I've been like this my whole life and assumed everyone was the same. I just figured there was some connection between my tear ducts and my urethra. Don't ask me. Andy has always made fun of me for this which naturally led to the assumption that he was the only person without this special connection. I mean, even Norah's eyes get all red when she pees. After further research online, it appears Norah and I are different from the rest of the world.

On to my question. Does this happen to you or anyone you know?

(I just want to prove to my sweet hubby that my Weepy Pee Pee Syndrome is nothing to worry about and that there are millions of WPPS sufferers out there.)

Reading Material Should Not Be Upholstered

I am posting mostly because I am tired of looking at ye olde scooter at the top of bucketsamoonbeams.

Wanna know what else I'm tired of?

• Paisleys,
  
• fleur-de-lees,
  
• doilies,
  
• rosies,
  
• posies,
  
• frenchy patterns,
  
• polka dots,
  
• ruffles,
  
• fancy stripes,
  
• curls,
  
• swirls,
  
• twirls,
  
• damasks, and
  
• paramecia.

The nature of fashion-ish trends in T-shirts and blogs is that once everybody has them, they won't be cool anymore and'll go outta style. So I guess Hilary and I who don't got no trendy blog wallpaper--designed by some woman in Utah Valley who couldn't make it into the cutthroat scrapbook industry but had too much creativity and graphic design talent to not design blog backgrounds--are the only holdouts. So the twirly swirly blinding blogs will live on.

I'm alright with it if you call me a hater. It's not that I'm a minimalist. It's not that I'm Mr. spartan anti-aesthetics. It's that I'm anti-trendytacky and anti-headaches. Reading material should not be upholstered.

So if you always wondered why Hilary's blog is so ugly, it's because of Andy.

(To be honest, most of me (probably the retired amateur folklorist) loves the interior design touches that so many awesome women I know do to their awesome blogs that celebrate and share the joys of their life and family. I just wanted to see if I still had the skills to rant about something.)

I do predict that the damask and doily blog craze reaches its apex soon.

Love, Andy

If There's One Thing I've Learned in Life . . .

it is to never buy a Chinese scooter.



We've been trying to sell this for six months now and I've got one thing to say to the guy who just bought this from us three days ago.

"Sucka."