31 Reasons Why I Love My Husband (Okay, Okay, I'll Narrow it Down)

10. He wears this green striped hooded sweatshirt that was cool for 16 year-old skaters to wear about 5 years ago and doesn't care that I think it's ugly.

9. He doesn't get mad at me when I spend $60 on a white noise machine for Norah even though we're flat broke.

8. He LOVES changing Norah's diaper.

7. He writes little love notes on Post-It notes and places them in conspicuous places. Like, one time I opened the fridge and read a note that said, "Me + You = Booya."

6. One time I got a note in the mail. It was a phone call message form taped to a 3X5 card. It read, "JT called. He said he wants his sexy back."

5. He actually wears the pajama bottoms I made for him for Valentine's Day last year.

4. He says words like hugsies and snugglesies.

3. He lets me cut his hair.

2. He spends a bazillion hours studying so he can kick booty in school and hopefully get a good job.

1. Then he comes home and takes care of Norah so I can have a break.

0. Then he wakes up early in the morning and does it all over again.

-1. He doesn't make me feel like an idiot when I misuse words like "literally."

-2. He gave me Norah.



And the number -3 reason why I love my husband . . .

He loves me, thinks I'm great, and literally worships the ground I walk on. I'm pretty dang lucky. Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Quantum Leap?

Our friend, Bruce, sent an email to Andy with the following two questions and photo.

First question: Where were you circa 1940?
Second question: Are you a time traveler?



Do you see him?

Andy has a fascination with iTouches. He wants one so bad. I now know why--his name is actually Sam and he leaped into the year 2010 married to me. Al is nowhere to be found and Sam is desperate to leap out of this nightmare and he figures that with an iTouch he can get in touch with Ziggy. Surely there's an app for that.

My Kid Can Beat Up Your Honor Student (Not That She Would)

So last week I was giving Norah tummy time which she absolutely hates and it only lasts about 45 seconds at a time because I'm a first-time mom and still hate to listen to her cry (or even whimper). When out of nowhere she rolled over! I couldn't believe my eyes. I was so happy for her. I kissed her, played with her, made her do it again, then immediately googled to see at what age most babies roll over. I was sure she was so early--I mean, she's only three months old. I was thinking to myself while I was searching, "My baby is so smart and strong and coordinated. Surely she's going to be an athlete of Olympic caliber someday."

Turns out three months is normal.

Our life

Thanks for the book Abby!

Norah loves milk!

Norah and Andy take five on the set.

The pink ladies
Norah is a soprano, we have discovered.

No Offense, Lyric and Emily

Does a nickname just come naturally?

I mean, should it flow from the brain to the tongue and out the mouth like honey (I guess honey doesn't flow from the brain, but you feel me, right?) or should it be premeditated and require conscious repetition in order for the name to stick? Andy has been trying to think of the perfect nickname for Norah for the past . . . well, 10 1/2 weeks. And me? I've got a few honey-like names--Norah Jorah, No Jo, and, most often, Sweetie Sweetzers. Andy disapproves of the latter primarily because, "it sounds like something Lyric (my sister) would say." Not that he has a problem with that--it's just that he says we can't claim it as our own. Further, he swears never to call her by that name even though I think it flows and is appropriate. His attempts at a nickname, however, are Ladybug (which he's maybe called her once) and Cutie Buttons (which sounds like something our friends Bruce and Emily Hinchey would call each other as a joke).

If anyone besides the Hincheys has any nickname suggestions, feel free to throw 'em out there. Lyric once called Norah Peanut, but then found out that she's in the 95th percentile for height and weight. The name was quickly changed to Cashew, which still might not be accurate.

As for me, Sweetie Sweetzers has stuck. I say it all the time. And considering Andy is a dialogue sponge, I'm sure that name will flow off his tongue sooner or later. I mean, c'mon. Just look at her. Sweetie Sweetzers just fits. I'm sure you all agree.

As Per Request

Weepy Pee Pee

Question. My eyes water when I use the bathroom. I've been like this my whole life and assumed everyone was the same. I just figured there was some connection between my tear ducts and my urethra. Don't ask me. Andy has always made fun of me for this which naturally led to the assumption that he was the only person without this special connection. I mean, even Norah's eyes get all red when she pees. After further research online, it appears Norah and I are different from the rest of the world.

On to my question. Does this happen to you or anyone you know?

(I just want to prove to my sweet hubby that my Weepy Pee Pee Syndrome is nothing to worry about and that there are millions of WPPS sufferers out there.)

Reading Material Should Not Be Upholstered

I am posting mostly because I am tired of looking at ye olde scooter at the top of bucketsamoonbeams.

Wanna know what else I'm tired of?

• Paisleys,
  
• fleur-de-lees,
  
• doilies,
  
• rosies,
  
• posies,
  
• frenchy patterns,
  
• polka dots,
  
• ruffles,
  
• fancy stripes,
  
• curls,
  
• swirls,
  
• twirls,
  
• damasks, and
  
• paramecia.

The nature of fashion-ish trends in T-shirts and blogs is that once everybody has them, they won't be cool anymore and'll go outta style. So I guess Hilary and I who don't got no trendy blog wallpaper--designed by some woman in Utah Valley who couldn't make it into the cutthroat scrapbook industry but had too much creativity and graphic design talent to not design blog backgrounds--are the only holdouts. So the twirly swirly blinding blogs will live on.

I'm alright with it if you call me a hater. It's not that I'm a minimalist. It's not that I'm Mr. spartan anti-aesthetics. It's that I'm anti-trendytacky and anti-headaches. Reading material should not be upholstered.

So if you always wondered why Hilary's blog is so ugly, it's because of Andy.

(To be honest, most of me (probably the retired amateur folklorist) loves the interior design touches that so many awesome women I know do to their awesome blogs that celebrate and share the joys of their life and family. I just wanted to see if I still had the skills to rant about something.)

I do predict that the damask and doily blog craze reaches its apex soon.

Love, Andy

If There's One Thing I've Learned in Life . . .

it is to never buy a Chinese scooter.



We've been trying to sell this for six months now and I've got one thing to say to the guy who just bought this from us three days ago.

"Sucka."

Do They Come Any Cuter Than This? Seriously.

Most pregnant women worry a lot. They worry about their body; they worry about their baby's' body. You know, everything from their baby missing an arm to missing a kidney. A baby in my church couldn't swallow well. Ever since I heard about that little girl, I started worrying about that too. However, one of my biggest fears before having Norah was whether or not she would be cute. Silly, I know, considering all the possible negative outcomes, but no one wants to be ugly, right? Everyone always told me, "Don't worry. Whether she's cute or not, to you she'll be the most beautiful baby in the world."

Am I blinded by love?

"When he (John Adams) is wounded, I bleed." --Abigail Adams

Now isn't that true love?

More examples of true love:

1. After bitching (is that a curse word when I use it in that context?) about her husband and how much they fight, a friend of a classmate of Andy's then flashed her heart-shaped tattoo on the back of her hand. "It's to remind me to be nice to my husband," she said. Fifty bucks says that relationship doesn't last another year.

2. Divorce court case: a man wants to divorce his wife because she didn't fulfill her side of the contract. What contract, you ask? Well, while strolling through a mall, they passed a jewelry store and saw a piece she wanted. "If you buy me that," she says, "I'll sex you up for a whole month." At the time he said, "Let's do this." Explaining all this to the judge, he then whines, "She still owe me 28 days!"

3. "If you can't handle my love, you shouldn't have married me. 'Cause I got infinity love to give." --Andy Jorgensen

Pictures of the Two Loves of My Life







Happy Valentine's Day!

Word of the Day: Trendelenburg

Norah had her first doctor's appointment yesterday. Didn't go exactly as I had imagined. I had no idea she was gonna be pricked in the heel a trillion times and have her heels squeezed dry of every ounce of blood. The whole process took nearly 30 minutes. Norah was screaming bloody murder. Mix compassion and anxiety together and you get a tear-streaked, sweat-drenched mama. Really, when I left that office beads of sweat were dripping from my forehead. All this emotional focus on my baby girl didn't stop me from wanting to punch the nurse in the face. Seriously, who draws blood from the heel of a screaming baby lying in the trendelenburg position? (Just a little phrase I picked up in dental hygiene school.)

Anywayz. With Norah lying on my chest not a half hour later, a smile swept across her face, yet I was still fuming. It was then that I yet again realized why we are supposed to be childlike. She's teaching me so much.

On to a less serious topic. She's in the 95th percentile in height and 75-90th percentile in weight. Somebody get this girl a basketball.